R-E-S-P-E-C-T (That's All I Want...)

It ain't always pretty. Last Thursday, as the kids were leaving at the end of the day, Carol, who was the last out the door, turns to me and says, "I just want you to know that I really dislike you."

What?

"What?" I asked.

"I really dislike you. I just wanted to let you know," she stated again.

"And how am I supposed to respond to this?" I ask her.

"I don't know. I just had to tell you," she replied, and left.

Well, I was absolutely stunned. The fact that a student doesn't like me is not what is surprising. In my 20 years of teaching, I'm sure there has been one or two that didn't (and usually the feeling is mutual...). What really surprised me was that she told me. I went to my principal to tell her what had transpired.

My principal is a former counselor, so tried to figure out the intention behind that statement. I knew it was that she was a rude, disrespectful, horrible girl. "Do you want me to talk to her," my principal asked.

"I guess so. As long as the focus is on why she said that to me, not why she doesn't like me," I replied. But after I left school, and continued to think about it, because it did bother me, I knew that I had to follow through on this.

The next day was a half-day due to conferences, and was further complicated by the fact that the 6th grade team of teachers had a meeting at the school all morning. So I had a sub that day, and wasn't slated to be back in the class at all that day to see the kids. But, knowing that I had to deal with Carol that day, I skipped the bonding lunch out to make sure I was back in class in time to excuse the kids to lunch recess. I excused the kids table by table, then when I got to Carol's table, I excused the kids by name. Soon only Carol and I were in the room.

"Take out a piece of paper and a pencil," I told her. She did. "Now, please write down what you think the job of a teacher is, and what you think the job of a student is." I continued to organized things while she did this.

"I'm done," she said.

"Good. Now, what did you write for the teacher?" I asked. She read it to me, and it said something about a teacher's job being to educate the students. "OK. Now, what did you write for the student's job?" She read that, and again it was something about the student's job being to learn.

"I notice that nowhere did you state that either teacher or the student had to like each other. In fact, it doesn't really matter in least if a student likes the teacher, or if the teacher likes the student. It makes it easier, but it isn't necessary. It doesn't really matter to me whether a student likes me or not. Most do, but I know that not all of them will."

"What bothers me is that you found it necessary to tell me. That is probably one of the most disrespectful things I've ever seen a student do. It is for this reason that I am writing you a white slip. You have every right not to like me. I do not like every student I teach. But, I know better than to say it to the student. You, however, haven't learned that lesson. I think you have a problem with respect. I have seen you be disrespectful to other students in the room. I first thought I should have you in a friendship group with our counselor, but I don't think that is the problem. I'm going to talk to our counselor about forming a Respect group, and that is what you need to go to."

I wrote out the white slip, and gave her the copy for her parents (if she has both, I don't know) to sign and return. That little...

Before school started, I had this dream that I was so angry at a student, I bit him on the nose. Well, I really wanted to bite Carol on her little pug nose.