Who Is Responsible? Not Me...

Earlier this week, I returned to my classroom from taking my kids to PE. As I walked into the room, I noticed a handmade book of lined notebook paper, stapled down the side, lying on the floor. I picked it up absent-mindely, and looked at the "cover." It was entitled something like "The First Kiss." I flipped it open. And read.

It began to describe a woman character getting ready for a date; putting on a dress, etc. Then her date arrived. "Where are we going?" she asked.

"You'll see," he replied. Well, the story goes, they ended up going to a strip bar. The woman seemed surprised but delighted, and relieved that she was wearing her "bra and thong." Soon the storyline had her pole-dancing, with her date sticking money in her thong.

I was quite surprised by the contents of this story, and flipped to another page. There, something quite different was going on. I will not go into detail, as my 13-year-old daughter reads my blog. But I was shocked.

I marched out to the field, where my class was having PE. They were just getting started. I found the 6th grade girl whose desk was where I had found the book. This girl "loves to write," she had written to me on the first day of school, and I also notice her sometimes making small books. Harmless, I used to think.

I grabbed her. "What is this?" I asked.

"A book I wrote," she replied.

"Oh. Come with me then."

I marched her down to the office. I told her to sit at the kid table there. I looked into our principal's office, but she wasn't there. The office manager told me she had just stepped out, and would return. So I waited. After a while, I went to the office manager.

"I need to go. This girl needs to stay here until the principal reads this book she's written." I left (after all, this was my planning time...)

About 15 minutes later I returned (10 minutes left of PE). My student was still waiting in the office. I glanced at my principal's office. The door was shut and I could see her reading the book.

I went to the door, and noticed that our office manager was also inside the principal's office. I lightly knocked on the door and went in.

"I want you to know," I said as I entered, "that I cannot take any credit for this creative writing piece. I've only had this student for three weeks. The teacher who gets all the credit is Mr. B. He had her last year. We'd better go check out his writing program..."

She obviously copied it somewhere. I wonder where? My principal thought it sounded like a CSI episode.

It was actually a little (ok-a lot) disturbing.

One More Grammar Rant

One of the traffic reporters I watch on the morning news uses a word to describe traffic: solidly. Here are some examples:

"...traffic is moving fairly solidly..."

"...and traffic is solidly between exit 21 and hwy. 30..."

At first I couldn't place why it was wrong. I thought perhaps that "solidly" wasn't a correct form of the word "solid," so I looked it up. And it was in the dictionary as a usable form of "solid." But still, it was wrong.

And why? Because, the word "solidly" is an adverb, with the -ly ending. It should describe a verb. Sometimes she used it correctly, as in "...the traffic is moving fairly solidly along hwy. 21..." How was it moving? It was moving solidly.

I wanted to call her up or email her and tell her how she could test that word. Try substituting the word "quickly" in place of "solidly," and see if it makes sense, I'd tell her. Does it sound right to say, "Traffic is quickly?" No, obviously that sounds incorrect. So, it is the same for the use of "solidly." It makes no sense to say "...traffic is solidly..." She too often was using solidly as a noun, and with the -ly ending, it was not a noun.

This year, her word is "sluggish." She uses that word correctly. Sometimes she slips up and reverts back to her old, solidly ways, but not often. I wonder who called her on it? Now I wish it had been me...

Twilight Ends

And I didn't like Twilight. I will not finish reading the series. I don't think the author is a wonderful writer; just mediocre in my opinion. I wonder how many times she wrote that Edward "chuckled?" Can't she think of other interesting words to use? When Emily would ask me what part I was at, I would say, "Oh, I'm at the part where Edward is gorgeous and Bella is flustered!" That pretty much sums it up.

More Surprising Grammatical Errors From Surprising Sources

This year I have had a college student who is doing her "September Experience" with me. Basically she started the year when I did, helped to put up the room and get things ready for the year to begin, and also has to teach ten lessons. She is only with me for the month of September.

I'm trying to help her get in her ten lessons, without having them be huge things. One type of lesson I thought she could do was with punctuation review. I have taken a simple book, written at a second grade level, and typed it up leaving out the basic punctuation marks. I give the student a page at a time, tell them how many mistakes there are to find, and let them search for them. It's good punctuation practice.

So, my September Experience gal watched me introduce the first lesson, and watched me later make corrections with the students. I then gave her the next page to do with the kids. I first asked her to find all of the mistakes, so that she could let the kids know how many they were to find in all (helpful to have a goal...). Later, she brought it to me to make sure she had found all of the mistakes.

What I found is that she made one particular mistake all the way through the paper. It was unbelievable. Here's an example:

"Put the cat out before you leave." She said.

And she did this consistantly throughout her paper. Everytime quotes were used, she put a period where the comma was to go. And let me add that this gal is a COLLEGE GRADUATE! She is working on her Master's degree. How do you graduate from college and still make a grammatical error like that one? They teach that in fourth grade, for goodness sakes!

To make matters worse, when I pointed out this error, she said she knew the rule but had had a "brain fart." How disgusting...

Stupid Spelling Error's on Sign's

Grammar and punctuation are very important to me. Here, if I make mistakes (obvious ones), it's usually because I'm tired, and then too lazy to go back and correct it. I usually try to, though (was that the correct "to?").

Anyway, I'm really bugged when I see signs at buildings advertising something and there is a glaring error. A very common error is the use of the apostrophe s. It's a simple rule: If you are showing ownership, use the apostrophe. If it's just one thing that is doing the owning, add apostrophe s. If it is two or more things doing the owning, make the word plural, and then add the apostrophe. If you are simply showing a plural noun that ends in an s, do not use an apostrophe. The s will suffice.

There is a tavern that I pass by on my way to work each day. They apparently have a tank with some huge pirranahs. For the longest time, the sign outside the tavern read, "18-pound pirranah's inside..." Pirranah's what? Pirranah's tank? Pirranah's fin? I believe they meant that they had more than one 18 pound pirranah. Therefore, just add the s. You only meant to make it plural.

This year, I noticed a gas station nearby. They had a sandwich board out in front advertising a special for "collage students." Now, would that be college students? Or are there in fact students who study the fine art of the collage? I did finally stop in at the gas station to inquire which type of student they meant. They did mean "college" students. They corrected their sign.

If some business is putting out a message for the public to see, then they had better make sure it's correct. They are creating an image for themselves.

Out of the Mouths of Babes

Excerpts from letters written to me by students on the first day of school:

*My Mom's name is....She works in the navy and so dose my dad. My dad is bald he has no hair...

*My family is a big group of people...

*I am 11 years old I am also in 6th grade. I love writing. I am also lacotse intolerant...

*I have the two nicest parents in the world. They are really friendly and I'm proud to say they are my Parents...

*There are some things I forgot to mention. First, I write my own songs. Second, I sing like a girl. That's me, for ya.

*My mom's name is Terri she has liver cancer and previously had breast cancer. She is not working...

*My sister likes to study. My dad likes to work. My mom likes to clean up the house.

*Well I use to be getting in a lot of trouble but now I am not which I am really proud of.

*My dad had to go to jail so I have been in a foster home for 6 or more years. It was really hard for me and I have 18 brothers and sisters and I don't know where my mom is and I do not like her at all. My dad died around Christmas. It was really hard. I moved with my Auntie 3 months ago...

*My great grandfather was in the navy. My grandmother makes hats. My Aunt Kim has diabetes at age 31 (with no wrinkles).

First Day

These are some things that happened on the first day:

*I showed up with my class for PE at my designated time, just to find out that there had been changes made to the PE schedule (without input from PE teacher) and I no longer had PE at that time. I wonder why they didn't tell me...

*While teaching, I suddenly focused on my pencil sharpener in the back of the room. It is a free-standing one that suctions to the counter top. It is a quiet, low-tech one that has a handle you turn. I love it. There was a pencil sticking out of the sharpener, but no one was there.

"Whose pencil is that?" I asked, pointing to the sharpener. A girl raised her hand. "And why is it just in the sharpener," I questioned further.

"I was just sharpening my pencil," she replied, "when you started to talk. So I went back to my seat!"

"Oh," I replied. "Well, good for you for being conscientious. Next time, take your pencil, too!"

Later that day, I focused on my sharpener, and guess what? Another pencil. Same reason. Different kid.

*I have a boy with a lovely, yet uncommon name that is featured in a Beatles song. I hummed the song to myself all day long. At the end of the day, I was showing him where his parents would be picking him up (he's new to the school, and his parents are active military). As we walked to the parking lot, I asked, "Did you know your name is in a Beatles song?"

"No, M'am," he replied.

"Would you like me to sing it for you?" I asked.

"No, M'am," he replied.

"Really. It's no trouble. I'd be glad to sing it. Are you sure you don't want me to sing it for you?" I asked.

"No, thank you, M'am," he replied, with a grin.