The Nose Knows (Again)

This morning I let my students into the classroom. As a few of the boys passed me, I got a very strong whiff of some kind of musk-scented cologne. I followed those boys, sniffing as I went, to find the culprit.

"Darwin, come with me," I said, when I had found the scented-one. Darwin followed me out into the hallway. "Darwin," I said, "you are quite fragrant today. What did you do?"

"Derek sprayed me with cologne," Darwin replied. So I poked my head into the classroom. "Derek-Get out here," I commanded.

Derek came out and joined us in the hall. "Did you spray Darwin with cologne?"

"He asked me to," Derek replied.

"Where is the colonge?" I asked.

"In my backpack," he replied.

"Go get it," I said.

When he came back out, he said, "Julius asked to be sprayed, too."

So I stuck my head back into the classroom. "Julius, get out here."

Julius came out and joined us in the hall. "Did you let Derek spray you with cologne?" I asked.

"No," replied Julius. "He just sprayed me. I didn't want him to."

Arguing then ensued as to who asked whom to be sprayed with cologne. Then Derek said, "Albert has cologne, too."

I stuck my head into the classroom. "Albert. Get out here."

Albert came out. "Do you have cologned in your backpack?" I asked. He nodded. "Go get it," I told him.

Now I have four boys, and two cans of a spray-type of cologne in my hand. "First of all," I said, "I cannot stand the smell from this. Darwin has it on so thick I don't even want to let him back into the room. Second of all, if you're worried about stinking, this wasn't the way to go. You now smell worse. If you stink, you need to use an unscented deoderant. None of this. Both of you will take it home, and never bring it back, and never put it on before you come to school. If you do, I will send you home for a shower before you can come back."

I made Austin promise not to use it, knowing that a phone call home would be useless. His parents apparently don't care. He promised.

Derek, though, is a troublemaker, suprisingly since his parents are military. "Derek, I think I will give this back to your parents personally when they pick you up today from school."

"Yes, M'am," he said.

After school, I waited in the office with Derek for his mom to come. As we waited, Derek began to cry. "Why are you crying?" I asked.

"Because my dad said if I get in trouble one more time, he would whup me," he replied.

Not wanting to be responsible for the whupping of a child, I wondered what to do. So I told my principal. She said, "Well, I guess he shouldn't have gotten into trouble then..."

Soon Derek's mom showed up. I think she first thought I was waiting with Derek just to be considerate, until I followed her out. I told her the whole story. Apparently, Derek's mom thought he was stinky the other day, and they couldn't find his non-scented-for-sensitive-skin deoderant, so his dad had bought the spray stuff. And she had told him to use it, and had sent it with him to use during the day if he was stinky.

I informed her that apparantly he wasn't using it in a responsible manner, and that it was quite fragrant, and was probably best left at home. She said she'd go find his non-scented deoderant. I thanked her.

And will the whupping occur? I'm leaving that to them...