Another Diagnosis

Today at my school the 6th grade team had a CAST meeting. CAST stands for Collaborative Something Something Something. Anyway, at the beginning of the year I attended a CAST meeting with the 5th grade team, because I like them better, but this time I had been scheduled to meet with the 6th grade team. So, we met.

Our focus was on those kids who are failing. They failed the WASL last year, and are continuing to fail in class. We started with math. I looked at my class list, and identified five sixth graders who consistently fail their chapter math tests. I was then told to include any student who scored below 400, a passing score, on the math WASL the previous year. That brought my list to eight. Keep in mind that as a 5/6 split class, I only have twelve 6th graders. That's 2/3 of my sixth graders who performed below passing on the WASL. Oh, well.

My principal moved on to the next teacher. He began to look at his list of students, and only identified about 5. Out of a whole class of 6th graders. I'm beginning to feel like I was dumped on with the low achieving students...Anyway, he then pauses over one student he had mentioned.

"No," he said. "I can't send Bobby to Mrs. Helper for math help. He has a disability where he can't hear women."

What?

"What?" I asked.

"It's the tone of the female voice," he explained further. "He can't hear it. That's why he has me for a teacher."

"I've never heard of that," I said.

Then, out of boredom, my mind began to wander. And I said, "I can just see him one day when he is married. His wife will say, 'Why didn't you pick up the gallon of milk like I asked? Weren't you listening? I swear, it's like you can't even hear me...'"

A Medical Diagnosis

Cold and flu season has hit, and I had a lot of absences this week. One girl was out almost all week long. On Thursday, I was walking from the office back to my classroom, and I took a shortcut through the computer lab. Her younger brother was in there with his class.

"Hi, Mrs. Teacher!" he exclaimed enthusiastically. I went over to him to say hi.

"What's wrong with your sister?" I asked.

"She's sick," he informed me.

"I know," I said. Wondering if it was the flu, I then asked, "Does she have a stomach ache?"

"No," he said, "I think she just has snot stuck in her throat!"

"I hate it when that happens," I replied.

Just Do Laps!

Yesterday my class had PE. This means I have 30 minutes of planning time. I had done a few things, including running off some things in the workroom, and signing up for my observation. Then I returned to my room.

I looked at the clock and noted, with much happiness, that I still had 10 minutes of planning time. I checked my emails, to see an email from our union president that I was to forward to my fellow staff members. I was in the process of doing this, when my door opens and one of my students comes in the room. Followed by another. And another.

"What's going on?" I cried. At first, I thought that perhaps I had my times all wrong, and that PE was over. Our PE teacher is notorious for just sending the kids back on their own if the teacher is late getting them. The kids continue to file into the room, quietly (that's so unlike them...), and sitting at their desks. Finally, the PE teacher comes in, looking serious.

"Oh, oh," I said. "What happened?"

Well, she proceeds to tell me. The kids are doing a folk dance/square dance unit in PE. Today, she had asked them to be in boy-girl partners, and she didn't get the positive reaction that she had hoped for. When she tried to make light of it, things apparently got worse, until I think she must have reached her frustration level and walked them back to my room. Early. During my planning time.

If you are not a teacher, you do not understand this imposition, unless you just try to imagine your boss taking away your break time. And, your boss just took away your break time because SOMEONE ELSE in your department didn't follow directions. Now, you have no control over that other person's behavior. So why should you be punished?

That is how I felt. My students were not in my control during PE. They were in the PE teacher's control. She is a certified teacher, just like me. They misbehaved for her, so she should have dealt with it during PE, and not in my room, taking away my planning time. For god's sake, it's PE. Make them run laps without stopping until the agree to cooperate.

And she is a big union contract person. You'd think she'd know better. My opinion of her has just dropped. I think I shall complain about this one to my beloved principal. I am so tired of having to be responsible for my students' behavior when they AREN'T with me.

The PE teacher can't handle them for a half hour? She should just be glad she doesn't have them all day long...

Better Than Walmart

Today book orders were due. I had told my students this time that they could pay by either check or with cash. So today one of my boys was busily filling out his book order form first thing this morning. He was very excited to be ordering some books. He then brought the form to me.

"Do you have a check?" I asked.

"No," he replied.

His order cost $10.00. "Do you have enough money," I asked again.

"Yes," he replied. "I have $14.00, but I'm saving the $4.00." He dug into his pocket and pulled out a small wad of bills. "See?" he said. He then peeled off two $5 dollar bills, and handed them to me. Then he said, "Here's one more dollar in case there's tax!"

I said, "Oh, that's the nice thing about book orders! There's no tax!"

"Really?" he said. "Wow! That's better than Walmart!"

Another spelling vent re: parent email

Yesterday, I received this email in my box from another 5th grade teacher. The following was first what the parent wrote (who is either illiterate, or a non-native English speaker):

"Evan and his brother Aaron, have both come home the last 2 couple of days saying the this child name Dakota in the 5th grade is bulling Evan. Evan told me last night that Dakota told him yesterday to "be prepared to get beat after school". I told Evan he needs to be reporting these things and he is suppose to come to you today. Has he done this? Again it takes Evan a lot to ignore these things and Aaron says this Dakota person is continously agging Evan on and when Evan ignores him he just keeps going till Evan explodes. This has to stop! Or I know for sure Evan will snap and someone is going to get hurt or in big trouble. Will you please please look into this!"

The sad thing is, here is the teacher's response to this email, which was cc'd to me (because I am Dakota's teacher), to the Education Assistant, and to the principal:

"This is the FIRST time I have heard of this! No, Evan has not reported this to me. (Our school) is NO BULLING school and this will NOT be tolerated!"

Note that she proclaims our school to be a "NO BULLING" (caps were hers) school. Poor gal. She sent that to me, to the EA, and to our principal. I wonder if any of them caught the spelling mistake (which is even sadder if they didn't...). And that's no bull...

Enough!

This morning before I left for work I had to plunge out a clogged toilet. This evening when I came home from work I had to clean up cat puke. There was sort of a bodily fluid theme to my day today...

How Can This Be?

Today I got a letter from a former student. She was such a nice little girl, and I absolutely loved her mom. I also taught one of her younger brothers. They were just such a nice family that I've stayed in touch with them. I went to my student's Bat Mitzvah. I send the family regular holiday greetings.

Today I got a letter. She's almost 30.

Bikers Carrying Guns?

Yesterday, Eric and I went out late afternoon to do a few errands. We had turned down a side street, heading over to another major road to take to our first destination. I was chatting away about something terribly important (I'm sure), when out of the corner of my eye I noticed a bike rider. He was not a kid, but at least high school if not in his early 20s. He had a crew cut and was not wearing a helmet, riding on the very narrow edge of the road.

All of a sudden, a sherrif's car comes from our left, and he flashes his lights. Not at us, but at the bike rider. My first assumption was that it was because the bike rider wasn't wearing a helmet, and there is a helmet law in our state. But upon closer scrutinization, I saw that the bike rider had a rifle across his lap! Now, of course it could have simply been a bb gun, but it looked real.

The biker stopped his bike, and immediately leaned the rifle against the gaurd rail. The sherrif looked like he was holding something out pointed at the biker. Not a gun, but I'm thinking now it might have been a tazer or something like that. We quickly just went around them and continued on our way.

Luckily, my 2008 did not end with a bang.