Be a Parent, Please

Jack is one of my students. He's difficult. I am not sure if he has a learning disability or an emotional disability, but whichever it is, he does not do well academically because of it. He will simply refuse to do work in a passive-aggressive way. He and I had several bouts of this at the beginning of the year, but then it seemed he wouldn't do this with me any longer. I'm pretty firm with kids. But he would do this with subs and with para-educators if he was pulled out in a small group for math or reading. There was one week where he pulled this with three different adults. That week I sent an email to our pricipal, asking him to talk seriously with Jack, since I was appalled that he would defy an adults' request like that.

Anyway, at conference time I talked with his mom extensively about this behavior. She said he is also this way at home, and he is her only child that acts this way. Lucky for her, too, since she is pregnant with her ninth child...That's right. 9. But she really had no advice for me, not that I expected any. Last year's teacher told my that if she had to really scare Jack about something, she'd have him call Dad, not Mom. Mom did say that if I ever needed her to just come get him, she would. But the reality of that is is that Jack then doesn't get his education he needs, but gets the attention from mom. And when you consider he is currently one of eight (soon to be nine) kids, her probably craves that attention. His mom even told me she has considered home schooling him. Really? With 50 toddlers at home and soon a new-born? I don't think so. Jack's mom also said that her husband told her not to worry about him, that he wasn't a good student in school but he eventually came around, and that they should just get Jack into sports. I told mom to tell dad that if he can't pass his state tests in school, he won't be ABLE to participate in any sports...

Anyway, November in school is pretty much a lost month due to a full conference week of half-days, and then right after that we were hit with a snow storm that closed school for two days right up to Thanksgiving vacation. Last Monday was the beginning of our normal schedule for three weeks leading up to the next big kahuna of breaks: Winter break.

Jack came in Monday morning and settled down. We have math first thing in the morning, and he was very attentive, even raising his hand and participating. I was very pleased with him and told him so. The same thing happened on Tuesday. Raised his hand. Participated. Did his work. Focused. I liked this new Jack.

It went that way for math the whole week long. Then Friday came. When my students came in from music, I had their math homework on the board with the correct answers so that they could correct their own work. The kids got busy immediately, either correcting their work or quickly finishing (or copying) their work that they didn't get done the night before. I glanced over at Jack, and he is just sitting there at his desk, doing nothing.

"Jack," I said. "Why aren't you correcting your homework?" He just looked at me. "Jack, take out your Homework and Remembering math book and let me see it." He did as I asked. I flipped the workbook open to Thursday night's homework pages, which were not done what so ever.

"Jack," I said. "You didn't do your homework last night." I flipped back through the other pages that have been assigned since beginning unit three. All homework pages were not done. He has not been doing any of the homework. "Jack," I said. "Why haven't you been doing any of your homework?" He covers his face with his hands and arms and remains silent. I crouch down level with him at his desk. "Jack," I say. "I want you to do last night's homework right now. We'll talk later about all of the homework you haven't done." I stand up to walk away. Jack stays in his upright-fetal position.

I crouch back down to be at his level as he sat at his desk. "Jack," I said quietly and patiently. "You have two choices. You can do your homework from last night right now, or I will write you up on a white slip for not following my directions, and I will send you to talk with Mr. Principal." Still, he just sat there with his face hidden. "All right, Jack. You made your choice."

I chose a dependable student who had finished correcting her work to escort Jack to the office. I made sure Jack took his pencil and math workbook with him. I then sent an email to my principal, explaing in detail why I was sending Jack to the office. "If you can't see him right now," I added in my email, "just send him back and call for him later." But Jack didn't return.

In fact, Jack was at the office all morning long. He came back just as it was time for recess. He handed me the copies of his white slip which showed that he had worked in the office on his math, had had a discussion with the principal, and that his parents needed to sign the slip.

But I went a step further and emailed the parents. I explained everything that happened, including that he had not been doing his homeowork for the last six math lessons. I concluded in my email that I wanted them to check to see that his homework gets completed every night. I asked that they make sure they check my website where I always show the night's homework, and that they initial each homework math page when it is finished.

Time for them to step up and be parents, not just breeders.