Difficult Parent (But I'm On A Break...)

My family is watching a movie that I have no interest in, so I decided to check my school email in case one of my students sent me an email. Instead, I find an email from a parent, sent late afternoon on the last day of school. Here it is:

I'm wondering if you could please clarify a couple of scores on Bobby's report card. I was very shocked to see a "1" in reading and a "2" in math on his report card. I have seen him fill out his reading logs each month and made sure he brought them to school. I do know he was not great about turning in his Paws for Reading logs, but I thought that was a school incentive project and not an actual grade requirement. I also am stunned he received a 2 in math. Math is Bobby's strongest subject and do not understand how he can be performing below standard in this area. I understand you may not feel Bobby is not performing to his full potential but when comparing him to all the students in 5th grade, I find it very difficult to understand how he can be below standard.

Bobby has received some of his lowest scores on his report card this year. We take education very seriously and would have appreciated some notification if Bobby was falling below standard, especially since he has not been known to perform at that level. At our last conference, I was under the impression, Bobby's areas of improvement needed to be in organizational skills and writing, I don't recall any mention about reading or math.

I will be at the school tomorrow meeting with Mr. Principal @ 11:30. Would you be able to take a minute to help explain his report card to me?

So, threatened by the meeting with Mr. Principal? No, not at all. And to Mr. Principal's benefit, I heard nothing about this. Bobby is perfect in the eyes of his parents, but he's actually a little odd, and so are his parents. I've really had my fill of Bobby and his mom. She began the year as a room parent who helped every other week. But all of a sudden during the year she stopped helping. I think she stopped liking me. And she believes her son is brilliant, but actually he's pretty average. Everytime he had to work with someone he didn't like, he complained to his mom, who then complained to me. And when I had the kids write a five paragraph essay about what they liked about our school, his first reason was that he liked to cut paper. He apparently would sit in the back of the room and cut paper. Weird.

Anyway, I figured that even though I'm on summer break, I'd better reply. As a parent, I guess I would have wanted the teacher to reply...

Thanks for your email. I pulled up Bobby's report card to refresh my memory. In reading, the 1 I gave him was in the category for setting goals. As I stated in the comment section, Bobby only turned in one of the three reading logs (Not PAWS) for that grading term, and the reading logs are what I used for a grade for that one specific area. In math, the 2 was in "numbers," which is fractions. When Bobby took the end of the year standards based math test, he wasn't working up to standard with adding and subtracting fractions with unlike denominators. I believe he missed the subtraction of fractions with unlike denominators, and I don't recall if he struggled with adding fractions with unlike denominators as well. A 3 means he is at standard, and he wasn't showing that he was there yet. That is why in the comments I said he needed to practice that skill. I remember also being a bit surprised that he missed a fair number of the word problems, and several of those word problems involved fractions. The test showed that he was not yet proficient with fractions.

I agree that he is strongest in math, and math was harder this third term with fractions and division. I think he just needs more practice, and that will help him! I do make sure kids take home math tests for parent signatures so that parents can see immediately where their kids are having difficulty. Take a look at the one math test that covers everything...Any area that has a score of a two out of four is an area that he can practice with this summer. I hope this helps.

I am so glad to be done with that family. I'm sure she won't want the younger girl to have me now. That's fine with me!

Too Over the Top?

I teach with a very organized lady. I'm reminded of when I first started teaching at the age of 25. I was taken under the wing of another teacher who was the age of my mom, and she was very organized. It was good for me. I learned how to be organized. But I inspired her with ideas. So we worked well together. I'd come up with "Why don't we..." ideas, and she'd organize them. Now, I'm in the same type of teaching situation. I have the vast years of experience and ideas now to draw from, and my teammate, who is my age but has only been teaching for five years, is totally organized. We benefit from each others' strengths.

But Mrs. Organized Teacher needs to relax. That's the effect I had hoped to have on her this year. My hope was that she'd learn to go with the flow a little bit. Here are some examples of being a little too organized:

*It was the first day for the 5th grade to take the state test. When I got to school and headed to my classroom, I saw that Mrs. Intervention Specialist was talking with Mrs. Organized Teacher in her room. I walked in.

It was a heated discussion about the schedule of the day. Mrs. Intervention Specialist was handing out the school-wide testing schedule for the day, and Mrs. Organized Teacher was very upset with it. The Powers That Be had decided that, since some kids would be testing with different teachers other than their homeroom teacher, depending on their learning needs, everyone should take breaks at the same time. During those break times, teachers were to email updates from their respective rooms, giving an update as to how many kids were finished, how many were still testing, etc.

Well, Mrs. Organized Teacher was very unhappy to not be in control of her break time. "But the Teacher's Testing Manual says the students should have a break after 45 minutes of testing-not an hour! My kids can't go for an hour straight without a break..." Mrs. Intervention Specialist was trying, I could tell, to remain calm. Was Mrs. Organized Teacher overreacting? Yes, I beleive she was. I caught Mrs. Intervention Specialist's eye, and said, "Could you come in to my room when you are finished here?"

I went into my room. Soon, Mrs. Intervention Specialist came in..."Oh My F*%#ing God," she exclaimed.

"Did you see her schedule on the board?" I asked. "She practically has written down when the kids should breathe..."

*On the last full day of school, I had planned a fun day. We were going to start the day with a movie. I always show "Akeelah and the Bee." It's a good inspirational movie. Then, I had made plans for a pizza party and had been collecting money from the kids to help pay for it. Finally, we were to have Field Day in the afternoon. I figured if I had any extra time, I'd fill it by showing Meerkat Manor episodes.

That morning, Mrs. Organized Teacher came into my room. "What will you do today if you have any extra time?" she asked. I told her I was just going to show Meerkat Manor episodes, and asked her if she wanted to borrow any DVDs (I have the first three seasons). She said no, that she would do this thing or maybe the other...Then she asked me again what I was doing that day. I told her we'd start with the movie, then have the pizza party, and then Field Day in the afternoon.

"How will you get your lunch," she asked. I said I was going to eat pizza with the kids. "But how will you get your half hour break with all that?" she continued. "Unless you maybe had your lunch delivered later...Let's see. I know! You could ask Ms. Lunch Lady to deliver your lunch at 12:25, after the 30 minute recess. Then you could get your break, then have lunch, and then do Field Day. Or, wait a minute...How about if you..."

At this point I just laughed and patted her shoulder, before she had a coronary attack. "Mrs. Organized Teacher," I said, "It will all work out. We will just go with the flow. I don't want you in a panic as you try to plan my day..."

*On the last day of school, Mrs. Organized Teacher was worried (once again) about having too much down time. After our end of the year assembly, we still would have about 1.5 hours to fill. She was worried. She talked to me after school the day before, saying she thought that she'd take her class out to play kickball for about 45 minutes after the assembly. That seemed like a good idea, so I suggested we take both classes out. She liked that idea, but of course, questions arose. Do we play my class against her class? Do we mix the kids?

We decided that since they'd be mixed in 6th grade, we should mix them up now. I said, since my students had numbers, that I'd split my class in half. Oddly enough, her class wasn't numbered (you mean I was more organized??), but she'd also get them split into two groups.

Then came the morning of the last day. She had it all organized, of course. She'd sent out the emails to staff letting all know that we'd be using the back baseball diamond for our game. She had gone to the pe teacher for cones and balls. She's set.

Mrs. Organized Teacher came into my room in the morning. "OK," she said. "So, do you want to put the kids into Group One and Group Two, or we could do Group A and Group B, or may Blue Group and White Group?"

I just had to laugh.

Don't Judge A Book...

This evening I went to the mall to get my hair done (I really feel that, on the last day of school, I shouldn't be grey. I don't want the kids to remember me that way...). Anyway, I parked, and headed towards the mall. I stopped at the crosswalk. I waited for cars to stop so I could cross. I waited. And I waited. All of these average looking, middle-aged drivers in big cars who were in so much of a hurry that they couldn't stop to let someone cross EVENTHOUGH I WAS WAITING AT THE CROSSWALK!

As I was waiting, I heard the deep "boom, boom" of someone's car stereo, some rap music cranked up to full volume and rattling the windows. As this car approached, full of laughing, no-care-in-the-world teenagers, I totally expected them to even laugh at me as they revved through the crosswalk.

But I was wrong. They slowed down and stopped. And waited for me to cross. I gave a polite, somewhat sheepish wave as I crossed.

Those kids stopped when others, who seemed more aware of just the social norms, didn't. It just goes to show. Don't judge a book by it's cover.

Just Follow My Directions Next Time

This morning I had a training on Autism at school from 8:30-11:00. The original plan had been that the teachers attending the training would get a half-day sub so that we could do the training, discuss together afterwards, and have time for lunch. But apparently our office manager forgot to put in for the subs. Yet the trainer was still coming, so the office had to scramble around, finding any available certified person to help cover classes. This included our principal and education assisstant.

Now, school ends next Tuesday. We aren't doing a whole lot in class. Kids are working on their "ABCs of Fifth Grade Memories" book, and they are also having fun doing Chinese paper cuts. These two things keep them busy. I also thought that a good activity students could do with the sub was to write letters to next year's fifth graders, telling them what they could look forward to in my class.

I got to school today to find out that both my principal and my education assisstant would be covering my class (the fact that it took two of them to fill my shoes did not go by unnoticed). So I explained to my principal that I had typed up a list of activities that the kids were to work on in the order that they were listed, and that it was already on the document camera, all set up. I knew my kids would be fine. I was happy, actually, to have the head honchos in my class.

So, I sit through my training. There are four labeled autistic kids in third grade, moving to fourth, then fifth, etc. Third grade was exhausted this year. This training was to give us more information and tools to cope. But we've had lectures on autism all ready; what we needed was for people to tell us how to deal with these kids in a room where we have 24-28 other students. The stiff presentation quickly turned to a more informal question and answer format which was more useful. Still, it was apparent to me that the district needs to step up more and provide support. But, it was an ok training.

I returned to my classroom. Mrs. Education Assisstant was in my room. Kids were glad to see, but they had obviously been having a wonderful time with Mrs. Education Assisstant. She looked almost disappointed that her time with my class was done. She told me that she was like the grandparent who comes in and just has fun, and then leaves. Then she said to the kids, "Let's tell Mrs. Teacher what we did with the letters!" Excited murmers break out amongst the kids as she proceeds to tell me that they decided to pretend that there is a secret to being in my classroom, and that if the kids only know the password, they can take part in all kinds of fabulous adventures, like our own swimming pool, trips to China and Australia, a candy store, and more. Kids were so excited! Yes they were! And it totally was not what I wanted them to do!

I'm sorry! I wanted them to write, "Dear Fifth Grade Student, You are so lucky to have Mrs. Teacher for fifth grade this year! We did so many great things, like Chinese papercuts, lots of science projects, and we made our own calendar each month..."

Boring, I know. But that's what I wanted. The truth. A letter that I can lay on each desk in the fall, so that when my new student comes in and finds his or her desk, there is something to do right away. Something that hopefully lets the new student know that it will be a good year. Not make believe. The truth.

Now, I have to do the whole thing again tomorrow. Because Grandma went home, and now Mom is back.

Surprisingly Open Minded

I went to my daughter's choir concert tonight. She goes to the junior high school in our small, and somewhat conservative, community. So I was surprised and delighted by what I saw up on the wall. But no one else seemed to think it was interesting but me...

They are currently having "Spirit Week" at the school. There were banners up in the room where the concert was held, informing one of what events were happening each day. Each day, the banners said, the students and staff should dress in a particular color. Monday was red day that stood for having the courage to be kind (I didn't know that took courage, but there you go...). Today, Tuesday, you were to dress in yellow, because it was a "smiley" color, according to the banner. Wednesday is green day for "Give Compliments." Thursday you were to dress in blue and gold, the school colors.

Then there was Friday. I just laughed to myself as I looked at the banner. The banner urged the students to dress in "any color" that day. I thought that was funny for two reasons.

1. It's unavoidable. It would be the same as if the banner said that on Friday you should wear clothes. Of course kids will dress in any color. Because they will be dressed. And clothing typically comes in colors. So regardless of whether they are participating in Spirit Week or not, they will be wearing colors, so I guess they will be participating. It's a win either way for the ASB.

2. The poster itself was painted in rainbow colors. It urged the students to wear any colors they wanted to wear. The banner said that students should "respect the diversity of others." Now, this was refreshing. The school is celebrating Gay Pride Day! That is very open-minded for this community. The junior high did something without fanfare that even the Space Needle could not do: Celebrate and support diversity! I have a new respect for my little community.

But no one seemed to find the humor in it as I did.

A Good Role Model

Today my husband forwarded an email he got from my younger daughter's homeroom teacher. It was an email sent out to the families of all of her students, informing them that the students would be shown the movie "Stand and Deliver," with a warning that it had language that might not be appropriate for 7th graders.

His accompanying message: I figure she might as well watch it. She won't hear anything she hasn't all ready heard at home from her mom...

Not A Compliment

Right now in writing I'm having my kids write poetry. I find different styles of poetry, or sometimes find a poem and have the students write their own version of the poem. It's a great thing to do at the end of the year, because there is no "beginning" or "ending" to the unit-we'll just write poems until time runs out. Poems are also a great way to get kids to work on word choice and desciptive writing in a less-formal structure, unlike an essay, say.

So the other day the students wrote "Feeling" poems. Bobby, who is a very smart boy, wrote a poem about the feeling of "boredom." He began his poem, "Boredom is dull grey..." and went on to describe boring things, like taking the state test. It was actually pretty clever. Of course, this kid drives me nuts, and he is the biggest pain in my side this year. And he's never sick. Never. My best two days of the year were when he was on suspension.

But he wrote this poem about boredom. Now, Bobby is capable of great things, but doesn't try at all. When I have my kids write poems, their homework is to type up the poem, print it off, and give it a colorful border by hand. If they don't have a printer, they can email it to me and I'll print it off at school. Bobby did the later.

I printed off the poem, and put it on his desk before school. Later, the poem showed up in the Homework Basket. The border was just a thick, lightly-colored border colored carelessly with a light-colored pencil. The border barely showed up. It was truly a boring border.

I went over to Bobby. "Bobby," I said. "This was a fabulous idea! Your poem was about boredom, and this is the most boring border I have ever seen! That was so clever of you! I would never have thought of this. Congratulations."

He looked confused. Was this in fact a compliment? I don't think he was quite sure...

Rebuttal (From Ms. Psych)

The fun continues, but now I will stop:

In response to your latest email, regarding my choice of working in schools is none of your business. My career and employment are my business. Your behavior has become most unbelievable and childish. It is obvious that you are taking the focus off yourself and now attacking me, because I brought it to your attention that you spoke loudly in the library in front of my office and led your students to do the same. Most teachers are very considerate of the other people working, as they help their students line up in front of my office. I followed the “Code of Conduct” that was developed at our school, by addressing this problem with you. Instead, your response was deflection of the problem and attacking my career.



Might your loudness be retaliatory because I would not fold to your pushiness to get my signature on the voluntary union dues? Prior to the library incident, you came to my office twice, within a two week period, to get me to sign up for the voluntary dues for lobbying, which were to be taken out of my monthly check. The first time, I told you that I was not interested because I already have enough dues taken out. Percentage wise, because I am at the top of the pay scale, I have more dues taken out than the average teacher. The second time, when you threw the form on my desk, my name filled out in your handwriting was feeling a bit like strong-arming me into signing. I said, “no” the first time and “no” will always mean “no”. What do you think the union would say if they knew one of their union representatives is behaving in this manner? Don’t confuse responsibility with a false sense of power. It’s time for you to step down from your role as a union rep. Please do not contact me again on this matter unless it is with an apology. In doing so, I will consider it further harassment. Please take me off your email lists for union communication and do not email me at home.

Hey, she's free to run against me. No one does. I'm good at it. And people like me...Of course, today I did have fun walking past her office and saying in a loud voice, "Good morning, Mrs. Librarian!" Childish? Damn right! That's what's fun. Gotta keep a bit of the child alive in you. But there will be no apology. And I think she'll be gone next year anyway, as I don't think anyone gets along with her.

Response

Dear Ms. Psychologist,
If you don't want to hear children in the library, then you shouldn't work at a school.
Me

"Library Ettiquette," Apparently

Today was our last official visit to our school's library to check out books. Next week the kids just get to go to hear a presentation from the city's public library about the summer reading program. We are winding down.

So today was our last official visit as a class. Our librarian greets my students every week with a "Good morning/afternoon," which my class responds to in unison, "Good morning/afternoon, Mrs. Librarian!" Every week it is the same. So some years ago, maybe three years ago, I began to have my students thank the librarian in unison when we lined up at the door to leave. We line up, and I say, "Ok, class...What do you say to Mrs. Librarian?" And the class says, "Thank you, Mrs. Librarian!" I usually then comment about how polite and cute the students are, and then we head back to class. Like I say, I've been doing this for about three years now. I figure that many of my students aren't taught to say please and thank you, so I'm teaching some manners and respect by doing this. Plus, it's fun.

Today was no different. As we lined up at the door to leave, I said, "OK, class...What do you say to Mrs. Librarian?" And they all responded in unison, "Thank you, Mrs. Librarian!" I reminded the students and our librarian that this was the last time they would say this to her as 5th graders.

We got back to class and got busy with some math, and then began social studies. It was a while before I got back to my lap top. I had a message in my email box from Ms. Psychologist. The subject line read: Library Ettiquette." I began to read, and my jaw dropped.

Please remember that when you are in the library that people are working. I would appreciate it if you would keep this in mind the next time you are visiting the library. When you guided your students in front of my office to shout out, “Thank Mrs. Librarian”, interferes when I am trying to write reports and have them ready for meetings. Thank you for your understanding.

Yes, her office is RIGHT THERE where we line up. Usually her door is closed. My school is old and small. There aren't lots of office spaces. But our Education Assisstant is there as well, and she wasn't bothered. Plus, I really take offense at the fact that she says I "guided" my students to "shout out" thank you. I prompt them. And we never shout. Ask anyone. Ask Mrs. Librarian. Or as Mrs. Education Assistant. They both will confirm that never have I asked the kids to shout.

So I was majorly ticked off. I replied back to her, but cc'd both the EA and the librarian. I said I never have the kids shout. And they are always well behaved in the library. She replied back again that I told them to shout. I wanted to just reply, " F#$% Y*$, B$#@&."

But I didn't. I did, however, include Mr. Principal in the the email trail. I said I never have my kids shout, and all I'm doing is teaching a little bit of manners, that maybe is something not all the kids are taught. I said I have been doing this for years now, and I have no intention of stopping. And I won't. Let her try to make an issue of it. It takes all of what---5 minutes to do this? After all, this is an elementary school, so I think she should expect noise from classes every once in awhile.

Grrr. I hope she comes to me with a union problem soon. She'll find out I'm not so eager to help her.