Parent Complaint

I love my class this year. I pride myself on my good relationships with kids and parents. I think that's my strength, and I work hard to make sure every kid feels appreciated. That's why I was dumbfounded to read an email from Mr. Principal last week. It said, "When you get a chance, stop by to chat about a parent concern." No more details than that, which is something all principals, at least in my district, do: They tell you in the vaguest sense to stop by, and then you worry and worry all day. Finally I got a chance to stop by. I went in a closed the door. Mr. Principal said he had gotten this phone message from Billy's mom, and he wanted to play it for me. I listened in disbelief as Billy's mom began to just rant about me, how I didn't appreciate her child and he's so unhappy he cries and doesn't want to go to school, how this has never happened to him before, how it's been going on all year, etc., etc. She ended by saying she just wanted him pulled out of my class (with only 27 days left?), or that maybe she'd just keep him home and homeschool him for the rest of the year (which, in Mr. Principal's favor, he laughed about, commenting how it was funny that parents thought that was a threat...). I was glad Mr. Principal had let me listen to it, although it was really tough to listen to. "Well," I said, "Let me give you a bit of background on this family that you may not know..." I know that Mr. Principal himself registered the kids when they moved here about a year ago from Georgia. But I told Mr. Principal that it was a divorce that forced the move. I told him that at February conference, I got the distinct impression that they are unhappy. There was a divorce, which forced them to uproot and move across the country because her mom lives here. Further, she says she is a college graduate but the only place she has been able to find work is at a Money Lending Store type of place, where she works a lot, and doesn't have the time to spend with the kids like she used to (maybe in Georgia before the divorce she was a stay at home mom? I bet she was...). Further, she told me back in February, Billy is unhappy because he hasn't made any friends. I found that to be unbelievable, as my class is so nice. But Billy is very much a little adult himself. If he could, he'd spend his whole time hanging out with me. When he goes to his math teacher, it is the same for her. He always is up talking with her. I've seen him at recess, and he hangs with the recess teacher a lot. Back in February, Billy's mom was upset with me, but I felt that as I talked with her, her frustrations really seemed to be about Billy and his inability to make friends. We talked about who he's hung out with so far, and one kid she mentioned had his conference next, so Billy's mom said that I could mention to the other kid and his parents that Billy would like to hang out more. She seemed fairly appeased by the end of the conference, although still unhappy because Billy, who is apparently gifted, just got average grades. Anyway, I talked with the next family, got them thinking about Billy, and all seemed to be good. And now this. I told Mr. Principal I hadn't heard anything from the mom really since the February conference. I had been emailing her if Billy didn't get something turned in, as she had been very angry that I wasn't doing that (a 5th grader? Come on, mom, he needs to be responsible himself. But I digress.). But she never really replied to the emails unless it was to ask something about the assignment. Also, come to think of it, her dad was ill and in the hospital recently. I don't know why, or whatever happened with that, but that would add stress as well. So her message said I didn't appreciate the kind of kid her Billy is...And I wracked my brain trying to think of why he'd think that. The only things I can come up with might be times where he just wants to be at my side, and I make him get back to work. Or, when I take attendance, I call kids names and they answer with a greeting. They used to just say, "Here," but as the year has progressed, they get more creative with their greetings. After my 5th graders got back from camp, some of the kids would sing a few bars from a camp song. Billy would sing the whole song if I let him. I've had to cut him off. Even the kids thought it was a bit much. He might also feel that he is not being appreciated because I don't make a big deal about his contributions to class discussions? Perhaps. Like I said, he's supposed to be gifted but I don't see it. I really treat him no differently than any other kids. Does he expect more? But Mr. Principal said he'd first talk to Billy, as I was not supposed to even know about the call. Later, he called Billy to the office. When Billy came back to class, there was an email to me from Mr. Principal that just simply said, "I think this will work out just fine. Nice kid." I couldn't chat with Mr. Principal later, so I don't know what transpired. Oh, well. It's weird to have a class I love with some out-of-the-ordinary parent situations.