Least Favorite Lesson

In 5th grade we have to do the "growing up" lesson. There is a packet to read and then a video. On Thursday I paired kids up-girls with girls and boys with boys-to read the packet. They had a search type of activity where they had a list of "growing up changes" and they were to check whether it happens to a girl, a boy, or both. The kids all took this activity very seriously. Maybe because I had threatened them that if anyone laughed, giggled, or did anything to make anyone (meaning me) uncomfortable, I would send them to the office with the pamphlet and Mr. Principal would go over it with them. That was enough to keep them quiet. On Friday, we showed the growing up video. All of the girls went to one room, and all of the boys to another. I was in the room with the boys. For the boys, the video covered erections and ejaculations. I didn't think they could handle it. But maybe it was just me. When it was over, we thankfully went back to our room. The girls came back. When we were all back and settled, I said, "OK. To sum it up: you will get taller, hairier, and stinkier. Take showers every day and use deodorant. Unscented. Now, take out your ABC of 5th Grade Memory Books..." Case closed.

A True Commentary on the State of Education

I've been teaching since 1987, and I've seen lots of changes. Many changes are for the better. But one change I see happening is that there is so much focus on getting students to pass the state mandated tests, that the fun of school is disappearing. I remember my first year of teaching 4th grade. We put on some little play that took place in Hawaii. No reason for it, we just did. But one of my parents was an artist, and she came in and drew a background, and wrote in the colors each spot should be painted. Like a huge paint by numbers. My students kicked off their shoes and were all over those panels, painting them in. They were so proud when it was finished and it looked great. Those are the events that make school memorable and fun to teach. There aren't too many of those moments these days. My students have been working on their "ABC of 5th Grade Memories" books. I have been doing this project for several years now. It's a great answer to the "What do I do for the last two weeks of school" question. Plus I hope it'll be a treasured keepsake. Anyway, the kids have to write a memory for each letter of the alphabet, and then write 3-5 sentences for each letter to explain. Students have to the written part first as a rough draft, then transfer it into a book which they illustrate, etc. Yesterday Jan came up to me with her completed A-Z statements. Students had to get my ok before they could go onto their book. I'm reading through Jan's, and I get to the letter I. I pause, read the statement again, and feel a little bit sad. Because it accurately reflected the reality of school at the elementary level. She wrote, "I is for Interventions. We had reading and math interventions this year. In reading interventions we read stuff and then took a test. In math interventions we reviewed stuff and then took a test. Everything led to a test."

The Ultimate Freudian Slip

I'm not quite sure if you have picked up on the idea that I hate my principal. I really hate him. He is an ass and a bully who treats his staff like children, except for those who do his bidding without question, or the one teacher who he's having an affair with. Anyway...last year I applied to two nearby districts, but didn't get any interviews. I wasn't too devastated as my feelings towards my principal had not reach the boiling point. That came this year. There are so many things I have not shared, mainly because all these horrible events that make for great blog entries were coming so fast and furious that there was not time to reflect through the blog. But, last Friday, as I was feeling hopeless because I had decided that no matter what, I was not going to return to this school, I got an email. It was from Ms. Music Teacher, who hates Mr. Principal as much as I do. The email was actually a conversation between her and another teacher at another building that Ms. Music Teacher had forwarded to me. I began to read it, and my heart jumped. I believe I heard angels singing, and I'm not even religious. The email was this other gal telling Ms. Music Teacher about how Mr. Principal had interviewed for the job of principal at her school. No frickin' way! This is tooooo good! Later I saw Ms. Music Teacher. "Is this for real?" I asked her. She indicated that yes, it was a done deal with nothing left but the singing, so to speak. Well, I certainly had plans to join that choir of angels and sing my little heart out! This was the most fabulous news I had had in a loooong time! At lunch as I passed through the staff lounge, I saw one of my teammates. "Did you hear the news about Mr. Principal?" I asked. Yes, indeed, she had. And interestingly enough she had heard the news earlier from a teacher in another district! I don't know where I've been, but that was just the best news ever. So, it just so happened that our school carnival was after school, and I had signed up to work the second shift. My older daughter was going to work at the carnival too. My husband was going to bring her and drop her off at the school, but he didn't know when. So I sent him an email. I put "This N That" in the subject line, then in the body I wrote, "1. I signed up for the second shift that begins at 6:30. If you guys come by early enough, we could all go have dinner at the yummy teriyaki place. 2. The best news ever: Mr. Principal may be leaving to another school!" Then I pushed send. And something niggled at the back of my brain. Soon, I found out. Because I got a reply from Mr. Principal. His reply said, "I'd like to, but I'll be busy grilling hot dogs then...But thanks!" OMG. Don't tell me I sent that email to Mr. Principal instead of to my husband. But I did. They both have first names that begin with the same letter, and I had been up since 4 am, since I've had terrible insomnia this year. Oops. Now what? So, I thought, there's nothing to do but to go with it. I replied, "Well, I guess it's no secret." I was talking about our mutual hatred for each other. Soon, I'm getting other emails forwarded to me. The email trail sent to me from Ms. Music Teacher, but was an email started by Ms. Education Assistant, berating Ms. Music Teacher for spreading this news. There was drama back and forth about that for awhile. When school got out, Mr. Principal got on the loud speaker and called a short "stand-up" meeting. The gist of the meeting was for him to scold us about spreading this news when the whole interview process was supposed to be confidential, etc., etc. He was angry with whomever started the rumor at our school and he was angry with whomever at the other school who was on the interview team spilled the beans. He hoped that the stool pigeon would be found out. Then he proceeded to tell us that yes, he did interview for the job, and then followed that up with an hour long talk with Mr. Superintendent. It all sounds pretty sure. So, yeah, dumb move to send that email. But I figure I really didn't reveal my hatred of Mr. Principal-not that I had to as my hubby knows how much I hate Mr. Principal. All I said was that it was "The best news..." and if pressed, I can say I was just sharing my happiness over Mr. Principal's good fortune, because in his surprise announcement to us, he made it sound as if it was. I had this smile on my face during the carnival that wouldn't go away. And when I came home, I posted on Face Book: Celebrate good times, come on!